Dysfunctional Leadership – 7 Red Flags To Help Keep You Being Successful

I worked for Starbucks back in the early 2000s. It was THE only coffee brand of choice. Everyone felt just too cool for school when holding one of those iconic branded takeaway cups! However, the company became a victim of its own success. 

The company simply got too smug, thinking it was untouchable, at the pinnacle of the market, giving its competitors little chance of success. The leadership thought it knew best and made poor decisions that resulted in financial difficulty.  Fortunately, there were enough people within in the business that realised the situation. They rapidly learnt from their mistakes and were brave enough to implement changes that make it the world leading successful brand it is today. 

The main ‘takeaway’ I learnt from my time with Starbucks and subsequent work with leadership teams over the past 25 years was just how difficult it is to recognise when the leadership team is out of touch both as a group and as individuals.   

This is often referred to as dysfunctional leadership, but what are the key red flags that appear, and how can you spot them?  Often, they are subtle, but it is important to spot them early as their impact can be huge further down the line. 

I’d like to share some key signs that any leader, despite their success, could be veering off course:

IMPOSTER SYNDROME

Most successful people have suffered from imposter syndrome at some point in their careers, and logically, this makes sense. To be successful, people have had to strive beyond their current ability to achieve a higher level. The disconnect comes from how they view their new level and how the rest of the world sees them. 

Imposter Syndrome was discovered as a phenomenon back in 1978 by two ladies, Suzanne Imes and Pauline Clance, who interestingly noticed it first in high-achieving women and women of colour. Their studies went on to discover that despite no official diagnosis of Imposter Syndrome, it is estimated that up to 82% of people experience it, showing itself negatively on self-esteem and confidence. 

Have you ever had to pinch yourself that all this success is coming to little old you?

What are some of the signs you might be suffering from it? 

• Do you feel like a fraud and not worthy of the position – that you’ll get sussed out
• That you don’t believe you know what you are talking about
• Crediting luck or some other reason for your success
• You believe anyone can do what you do
• Fear of being a failure or letting the business/team down
• Believing that overworking is the way to justify your position
• Downplaying achievements or successes you have had a major part in
• You believe failure is not okay or not an option

How do you overcome it?

• Avoid comparing and benchmarking yourself to others
• Write down what you have and are achieving
• Give yourself time – you’re out of your comfort zone, it will feel scary
• Be kind to yourself
• Adjust your view to what failure actually is
• Reframe the narrative - practise positive self-talk, e.g. I can’t do it to, I can’t do it yet

Chat with someone you trust, especially if they are more senior/experienced, for reassurance

LISTENING

This is a fundamental life skill and one that us humans find very hard! We have much to learn and should take a leaf out of the animal world on occasion. We can all zone out, especially when we are under pressure, stress, etc. The red flag is when we constantly do not listen to the experts around us and think we know best. This can start to impact our decision-making and waste time and energy, let alone the engagement of those you work with. One of the most hard-earned and valuable leadership skills. You may be right but don’t assume you always are. Or, as detrimental, you ask and listen to your team and then dismiss or ignore their input. Again, you may have solid reasoning, but be mindful of how it can come across. Here are some reminders to keep one on track

• Be present and patient– try to quieten your inner voice when listening
• Listen with both heart and mind
• Observe people's body language – what’s the real message they are communicating
• Equally be mindful of your own 
• Give yourself time to reflect
• Be mindful of your unconscious biases – we all have them
• Repeat back so you have understood correctly what they are trying to say

HUMILITY

Never lose sight of the importance of vulnerability, and keep being grounded in being an effective leader. Smugness, arrogance and aggressive behaviours are not attractive traits in anyone and are not to be confused with courage, determination, or clarity of thinking. They are old-school leaders and have no place in modern leadership thinking. Never forget where you came from and how it felt. Who were those great leaders that inspired you and those who put you down

In the wise words of Prophet Muhammad, “The best of people is the one who humbles himself the more his (or her!) rank increases” 

How do you know? 

• Be aware of how people react to you – are they as open and consider you a safe space to share their thoughts and ideas
• Listen to yourself – look at how that might come across from the other person/team’s perspective
• Micro aggressive behaviour – are you or your team sending out hidden messages when you communicate
• Get some real feedback. 360 is fantastic as you receive feedback from many different perspectives, be it peers, reports, clients, shareholders, or board members. It doesn’t need to be complicated – just a couple of good questions and a safe environment for people to respond honestly

KNOW YOUR OWN STRENGTHS

And play to them. It's who you are and what makes you unique. Peppered with you can’t do it all. Build a team around you who complement you with different strengths and, as importantly, will also challenge you. No one person can do it all, and nor should they, as we all know the impact that has on high stress levels, burnout, and work-life balance compromises. It takes an incredibly self-aware and brave leader to lean in on the right people, but the results speak for themselves

BAD HABITS

I know it’s been said a million times before, but it is very easy to fall, unintentionally, into bad habits that may work for you but are not sustainable over time. Not if you want to make it to retirement. Also, it doesn’t set a great example or message to those you work with. Of course, it happens when you get a bottleneck in the business, and let’s be honest, this is the real world, not some theory textbook. However, if you find you are falling into an unhealthy pattern, then these might be some of your red flags to look out for 

• Regularly eating late at night
• Not getting some decent night’s sleep
• Putting in crazy hours
• Not getting quality downtime from the business
• Not drinking enough fluids
• Not taking some exercise – releasing endorphins is a great way to help manage stress

You may be one of those people that can survive and thrive on limited sleep, but those people are very few and far between and I would still question the reasoning behind that workstyle choice

If any of these flags are flying, then there may well be some areas you need to adjust, and these are just some of the things you may want to consider 

• Are you really planning and prioritising your time? Could you work smarter rather than harder
• Do you need more resources – are you trying to do too much
• Are you effectively delegating 
• Are you being slightly indulgent about work and may need to take a step back and reflect that other areas in your life might need to come higher up the list
• Are you being realistic in your expectations of yourself and others

ASKING FOR HELP

We get to this point in our career. Quite rightly, we are proud of where we have come from and the journey we have been on to get to this point. Many lessons have been learnt, and we know what good looks like, as much from the failures and the whopping mistakes as well as the successes. However, it doesn’t matter how senior, powerful or successful you become the reality is that the more senior you are, the lonelier it can become. It’s important to recognise that from time to time, we all need some form of support – whether it’s a chat with your Mum, Dad, partner, work colleague, child, friend or someone who is an expert at unpicking trauma and stress. We are human, and we all need that safe space to talk openly about some of the challenges and frustrations that leadership presents so you can dust yourself off and come back refreshed and in a good place to deal with them

CONTINUE TO DEVELOP & GROW

This is something that quite often gets overlooked, especially when you’re busy and constantly on the go, making decisions, etc. However, it is an important space because it keeps your mind stimulated and fresh. The same can be said of your teams. Never underestimate the value of learning, not just to upskill and build confidence but also to send out an intrinsic yet clear message that we really do care about you and that you are worth investing in.

SUMMARY

In the world of leadership, it’s important to stay in the best position to manage the challenges that leadership presents. These are some of my key insights from working with many leaders over the past quarter century. Yikes!!! 

I have also learnt that effective people manager skills are often overshadowed and undervalued when it comes to leadership. In my view, skills in areas like performance management, conflict management, and building trust and motivation are essential to being an effective and successful leader. They are not easy to master, and it takes time and experience. However, with the right development, you can accelerate upskilling and build confidence in these soft skills areas and remove some of the headaches that leading and managing people can bring.